We met when we were 17 and now we have divorced there has been a lot of heartache and arguing but its so hard to let go. I cant imagine my life without him I dont see myself with anyone else or being able to be comfortable with someone else. I want him back but he doesnt think its a good idea but says he will always love and care for me. How do I deal and get over this?
You will probably never get over it.
But what you will and must do is to learn to live your life for your three kids.
You moping about is not good for them.
So pull your socks up and make sure your three children enjoy life with a happy mum.
You really haven't had a chance to develop that sense of independence, having stuck by your first for so long.
It's very likely that you are going to have this sense of not being able to find a love like this again, but believe me, its very possible. You'll be going into your next one with a little more experience and responsibility, and it may not feel as magical as that teenage love you cultivated into a marriage, but you'll be more likely to find a true romantic, lasting love the second time around.
I know it must be hard but you have to respect him not thinking its a good idea getting back together. You have 3 kids and you both need to pull together and raise them in a healthy environment . If there has been a lot of heartache and arguing that is not a healthy thing for your children to be witnessing let alone hearing. I'm sorry for everything you are going through it is not easy but you need to focus on your children and their well being.
Well the first step is to admit to yourself that its really over, you said you were already divorced right and he is telling you that there is no chance? You have to let go and allow yourself some time to get over him and you will but it just takes time. Everyday will get a little better but the longer you try and hold on the longer it will take for you to heal.
Everybody thinks we love tsthis initially when they are breaking up from a serious relationship, but time heals all wounds. When you find a man again and fall in love again, you will be SO happy as you were with this man and it may LAST. He is just one jerk. And he probably wont find anyone anyways.
Your 3 kids can help take your mind off things. You have to move on and start anew. It isn't easy, but try. It is over and you need to accept that. No point forcing him back into a relationship when he doesn't want to.
I hope you find someone else too.
open your eyes if he is telling you that then he got somebody else your young understandable but theirs a lot of life out their go live it....
i dont think its possible...
true love last forever.
first loves never die.
I know you are hurt. You are not alone. But to make yourself feel much much better very soon you have to ACCEPT that he is GONE and he is no longer YOURS. When you realize this, your energy will be deflected away from him which will improve your daily feelings. You won't wake up and go to sleep with so much pain. Make your interactions with him all business. Don't be rude but cancel all emotion where he is concern. DO NOT express your love to him anymore. He's not your man anymore. Be for real and brutally honest with yourself. The actions and words he's used to express the fact that he is done with you, turn those into empowering strength by repeating to yourself, "I deserve being completely loved." "I know he'd never be faithful to just me, so I have moved on." "He doesn't care enough to care for me, so I am done." Things like this help you get the strength you need to get free. And you need to get free. Imagine one day at a time, not LIFE. That is hard, but take it one day. You've heard that saying a lot and for good reason. Best wishes and hugs to you. Divorce sucks man!
When you are going through heartaches and arguing your head must be telling you it's time to let gowe love ts but your heart is saying I don't want to break, But life never came to us with guarentees, nobody ever told us we wouldn't have failure someplace in our lives. But in the situation that you describe I think you and your kids are going to be better off. The turmoil of two parents fighting takes a big toll on them and they learn some pretty bad behaviors because of them. As you look back one day you will see how being so young had so much to do with what happened. I know I have. I wasn't prepared for the responsibilty of taking care of a house, I didn't know how to take care of a wife properly, I thought she was supposed to take care of me and other things. When we are so young we think that we can change things to make them better and after we make a mistake we find we can't. But that doesn't mean we can't move on. The first step in getting past this is best described as having a death in the family, for something did die. And with that comes a grieving period, up to six months, to get your head on straight and seeing things clearly again, to realize that you are not defined by this marriage. You will then be in a better place and you will be able to be loved once more, but after the greiving. One thing that worries me about what you said about what he said is that it is a little too close to what some guys use as a string someone along line. I can't be with you but I will always love you. It keeps you heart a hoping and your head a spinning. Stay away from that, it will only cause a relapse in your grieving time. It isn't easy, but you can do it. You are working with one of man's strongest emotions, love, it will take time. Be careful if you think he's been with other women, you don't know what STD's he can pick up. write if you need some more support good luck
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